eeeeeend love now baby please not forget me

How To End Troubled Love—Quickly, Permanently & Painlessly



If you’ve been through a bad breakup or you are now in a rotten relationship, the idea of carefree happiness is probably about as alien as that ship that they say crashed at Roswell. Yet, I have seen people make that transition over and over again. And it does not take 30 years of Freudian Analysis or tons of money. It happens in two to five short hours. I know that sounds unbelievable, so I am going to reveal some secrets that will allow you to believe this now.

First of all, how do you know to experience emotional pain? I know that is an odd question, but it is a question that can open your door to true happiness. While you mull over that question, let me ask you another one—perhaps, an even stranger one. How did you know to be you when you woke up this morning? As odd as that question sounds, I am quite serious in asking it. There are people who do not know who they are when they wake up. My mother spent the last five or six years of her life battling advanced Alzheimers Disease. To the best of my knowledge, she did not have a clue who she was during those years.

We know who we are because we have gone through a series of events in our lives. Our unconscious minds (or subconscious, if you prefer) collects the memories of those events and organizes them. That is how we know that we like Cherry Coke, but dislike butterscotch. We like blue skies, but dislike rain showers. Different flavors of food and weather conditions have no meaning other than the ones that we attach to them because of experiences that we have with them over the years. All of us human beings do this. Oh, you may not be aware of it. That is because it is a subconscious process. Well, what do you think the word "subconscious" means? It means out of awareness. That’s all.

Think of all the other things your subconscious is doing—that you are not aware of, at least, not yet—causing your heart to beat, your lungs to breathe, your stomach to digest—and the list just goes on and on. Naturally, you are not aware of these things until someone calls them to your attention. In fact, you would go nuts if you sat around all day just thinking about your heart beating or trying to feel what is going on in your stomach as you digest food. In general, your subconscious mind takes very good care of you—something that poor old Freud just didn’t understand. Just because you are not aware of these things does not mean that they are not happening. The word "automatic" could be used here.

Your unconscious (or subconscious) mind does a lot more for you that you are not aware of, too. You can think of it like a computer that runs a program over and over again, until a new program is called up. My preference, though, is to think of it as a small child within. Have you spent time around small children, say five- or six-year-olds? They are honest, sincere and loving, but most of all they almost always have the highest intentions. That is not to say that their behavior is perfect—it can drive you nuts, just ask any stay-at-home parent. But their intention is always loving and wonderful. That is just how your subconscious mind works—boy, did Freud ever miss the boat on that one! Once I show you how to communicate with your subconscious, your life will be very, very different.

Your subconscious mind uses three main "languages" to process information and make sense out of your "reality." First, there are pictures. Everyone makes up pictures inside their head. Again, you may or may not be aware of these pictures, but they are there nonetheless. I wish I had a nickel for every time someone has told me, "Oh, I can’t visualize." Nonsense! You may not be aware of it, or your pictures may be fuzzy, or they may be in and out of your mind rapidly—but you do make up pictures inside your head. Pictures carry a lot of information, and the processing is rapid. What kind of pictures are you making about your situation?

Your second internal language is sound. Just listen to yourself when you think about your love life. Are you sighing or groaning on the inside? And what kind of internal dialogue do you run? What kind of words are you saying to yourself? More importantly, what is the tonal quality of those internal voices? By the way, the idiotic idea that internal dialogue and talking to yourself is a sign of mental illness was dismissed long ago. It is perfectly normal activity, but the structure and process of it may not be very helpful. The more you recognize and take charge of the internal voices, the more power you gain over your emotions.

The third way we humans process information at the subconscious level is through feelings in the body. Men talk about having "gut feelings," while women use their "female intuition." What kinds of physical sensations do you get when you think about him/her? Is there a heaviness in the chest? A "pit" in your stomach? What about tension in your neck and shoulders? As you begin to realize you have control over these sensations, you will automatically gain control over your emotions.

Take a minute and play a little game with me. Read through this paragraph, and then STOP. Now, do what I am telling you to do. Then, read the next paragraph. Just hold both hands out straight. Turn your right palm down and your left palm up. Now close your eyes and picture five (5) big red bricks in your left hand and twenty helium balloons tied to your right wrist. Hear the balloons moving in the breeze. Tell yourself how heavy the bricks are. Feel the grit of the brick in your left hand as the balloons continue to tug up on your right wrist. Hold onto these images, sounds and feelings for about 30 seconds. Notice how heavy the bricks are, and listen to the balloons flapping.

So, what happened. Did your hands move at all. Is there any difference in their positions? Is the right hand now higher than the left? If so, you just had a physical reaction to the pictures, words or feelings in your mind. How long did you do it? Thirty seconds? What if you did it all day long? Guess what. If you have been obsessing on your relationship for six weeks or six months, it is affecting you and your body. When will you decide to STOP?

Now, back to the emotions. What is the source of your emotions—the conscious or the subconscious mind? Think back to a time when you fell in love. Did you wake up on a Tuesday morning and say to yourself, "I’m going to go out and find somebody to fall in love with today. Let’s see, I’ve tried jerks and losers already. What about a slob? Yep, that’s it. I’m going to go find a slob and fall in love with them today." Is that how it happened? I don’t think so. It was sort of magical, wasn’t it? And it seemed to just happen—maybe very quickly or maybe it took a while. And it seemed—dare I say it—"automatic," didn’t it? That is because the process of falling in love is carried out in the subconscious mind. And almost everyone believes that they have little control over their emotions, because they are not aware of the process that creates them.

But the more you understand that it is a process, albeit a subconscious one, then the more you realize that you can change it. And there is more to it, too, that can be used for an instrument of rapid change.

Think about a single memory that you have. What you are consciously aware of, most likely, is simply the content. You know, the plot line—what happened—who said what—and so on. But there is a lot more going on in that memory—the subconscious parts. You may not know that each memory has four components to it: the content, the process that we use to "run" it, the structure, and the context that brings it up. And it is the latter three of these components that give your memory its meaning.

Think about the guys that went to Viet Nam. Virtually everyone over there went through hell. They saw things that no human being should ever have to see. What happened when they came home? Well, since they saw very similar things, the content of the memories would be pretty similar. So, if content really is as important as the Freudians have claimed it to be, they should have all reacted in similar ways. Not so. Tom Monohan started Domino’s Pizza. John McCain became a US Senator and Presidential candidate. But Bob and Bill and Fred became drug addicts. The real difference? How they structured their memories and how they process them in their minds. As you now realize the significance of this, you will begin to see how you can gain control of your own life again.

Everyone in our society is trained to focus on the content of a memory. And the therapy industry tells us that we need to analyze our problems. In other words, use your conscious mind to mull on the content of your memories over and over again. Where does that get you? Well, after you do it for a couple of years or maybe 20 years, you can go to a cocktail part and bore everyone to death telling them how you can’t have a stable relationship because your mean mother refused to buy you a puppy when you were six. Chances are, you will still have your problem. But you may have learned to accommodate yourself to it. What is wrong with this picture?

But when you work on the structure and process of memory directly, the outcome is very different. Chances are, that you won’t be able to explain to your friends exactly what happened and what changed. Because you change the structure and process of the memories, you change the meaning. Because the meaning changes, the emotions change. The more you erase negative emotions, the more life opens itself up to all sorts of possibilities.

So, people often ask if this is therapy. I always say, "Absolutely not!" I am a hypnotist and NeuroLinguistic Programmer. That is all I do. But clients say the changes in their lives are therapeutic.

You are the one who changes your life for the better. I do not "do" anything to you. I’m just a guide showing you a new path to take. The more you apply the techniques I show you, the greater the change in your life.

Sincerely,



Peter O’Dell, MA

PS All I do is show you how to change what is not working in your life.

PPS NLP can be thought of as a sort of "waking hypnosis."

PPPS People often ask how we developed these techniques for rapidly changing the structure and process of memories. Richard Bandler, one of the founders of NeuroLinguistic Programming (NLP), says this, "Psychologist spend years studying people with phobias. They analyze them and catalog them. And they talk about them and write about them. Me? I went out and found two people who had cured themselves of phobias and asked them how they did it."



Richard's Story

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